The 5 stages of Typing everyone went through

1) Slow:
This is when us mortals were first introduced to the marvels of the QWERTY keyboard. Instead of the aabeeseedee we were taught in first grade, we were given this strange new system, which feels a bit like my five year old brother took out all the letters from the keyboard and stuck them back again in random order (something he would do if he figured out how to get away with it) I mean, who in their right minds would begin with Q?

Also called: The Yahoo phase

2) i hav the typng capablitis ov a chmpanzee wth opposabl thmbs:
U rmmbr ths, dnt u? Yes, the second phase. Don't feel so ashamed, we're all guilty of this one. A mysterious disappearance of vowels, coupled with an assurance that making up our own spellings made us 'Cool.' This went up to the time when we finally realized tht typng lik ths maks us luk lik fcktrds. Don't take it too hard, though; people once thought genie pants were cool.

Pictured here: Epitome of coolness.

Also called: The Myspace phase

3) lolz, yew r so kewl.
This is when the power of being tech-savvy, powerful individuals went to our heads. We got so cool, we just had to invent a new exclusive language that would distinguish us from the mere mortals who didn't have an internet connection. This stage is characterized my adding unnecessary letters to every word and making up new, unnecessary words (ROFLOLBAG, anyone?) Fortunately, we got tired of looking at the red squiggly lines any time we typed anything, so perhaps this wasn't such a good idea...

Also called: The Orkut phase



4) ThIs iS aNNoYinG.
Still squiggly red lines. I have no idea what the human race was thinking at this point.


Also called: Facebook before The Social Network

5) Grammar Nazi.
Faith in humanity restored. This is the English our fore-fathers taught us, followed with almost an obsessive intensity. Even though this shows we did pay attention in fourth grade English (Ha, Ms. Sarah! I told you I didn't deserve that F!). I am afraid, however, that this might lead to world war...on the internet. (See what I did there?)

Also called: Facebook after The Social Network.

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6) omnomnomdhajsdhuahiabrainsgaudasbrainsduis:

No information available currently.

Also called: Facebook after the zombie apocalypse.