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...minus the beard. Now, you will begin getting certain ideas. You will want to do something: something great, something heroic, something so utterly amazingly, awesomely supermanly that come tomorrow morning, the entire humanity will worship you and kiss your feet.
All I can say to you is. KEEP YOUR REAR END IN THAT BED. Tomorrow morning is going to expose your wonderful plans for the complete crap they are. Plans like these:-
1) Build a water slide:
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You! Yes, you, the one who's completely drugged on coffee! Looks easy, doesn't it? The sort of thing you'd accomplish in about half an hour with some bits of plastic and a hammer? One of those fascinating enterprises of physics people talk about for decades afterwards? One that will note your name in shining glory as an example for the rest of humanity? Its so...pretty, isn't it? Yeah. Forget about it.
2) Eat: Oh hey, its late at night and no one's up, perfect time to stock up on those carbs you've been staying away for a while now...
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No, okay? Just no. You will hate yourself in the morning.
3) Try on make up:
This is what you think you look like -
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What you really look like -
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I'm all against gender streotyping and calling people ugly, but do us all a favor and get a paper bag surgically attached to your face. Thank you.
4) Dance. Dance to celebrate the you-ness that is you:
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Or, you know what? Don't.
5)
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This is wrong on so many levels. Don't even think about it.
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