Retards, I tell you

Now America, I empathize with the fact that you were given more than your fair share of morbidly fat people*, but that is no reason to take it out on the rest of us. I mean why on earth would we need COMPLETELY SQUARE BLANKETS? Because hey, you know what? Vast majority of the human population does not, and I repeat NOT, look like this:







After all, not many people are just as wide as they are tall. In fact, the average human's girth is just about 1/4 of his height. Someone out of all those geniuses who've made water beds and heck, even balloons beds could've stopped and thought "Hey, this is a crazy thought, but I haven't really seen that many people with the exact proportions of a slice of cheese. Maybe I could, I dunno, make comforters a liiitle bit longer?"

Apparently not.


Not only is this scientifically incorrect - bordering on impossible - but I can't cover my ears and toes at the same time.


What the hell, guys?




Amreekans: 3
Desis:4


*For the sake of being politically correct, I wanted to write something like "horizontally gifted" but it wasn't funny that way. Sorry fat people!