I love bathrooms.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in love with them. I don't draw secret pictures in my textbooks or sign my name I.B. (Ifra Bathroom?) or hope to marry them some day. Someone once said that love is not being blind to faults, but loving someone despite of them. I know that many bathrooms in the world are harsh, fluorescent hells, but that doesn't make me like them less. No, my fondness for them stems from the fact that they have always been my partners in crime.
Impromptu speeches influenced by Julius Caesar? Bathroom. Hide and seek? Bathroom. Too loud outside? Bathroom. Inspiration for blog? Bathroom. Is that too much information? Bathroom. But the real reason why bathrooms have a soft spot in my heart is because of this:
In the times before I knew there were things like germs or bacteria (or hygiene, apparently), I used to hide my candy in the bathroom.
Has that sunk in yet? I hid candy in the bathroom.
The idea being that no one in their right minds would go looking for candy in a bathroom. And I was right. Not once in my entire 8 years of hiding chocolate in the bathroom (I started to hide it under the sofa after that) did any body find it. There was a handy sill just above a window where packets of Toblerone and Jubilee could be hidden for days without anyone noticing, after which I transferred them to a more secure location, or just pigged the hell out of them.
Then, after years of my mom wondering where the heck I was getting candy at two o clock in the night, my little sister discovered my secret stash. She'd been at it for months: watching my every move, keeping stock of the candy in the fridge, looking into every nook and cranny of the house. With my secret found out, I promised her she could keep her candy there in exchange for her silence. She agreed. I humbly took away my candy, and my sister inherited that handy plank above the window. That spot was now hers to put her candy on as she pleased.
I then told my mom on her, because why the f**k not.
I was a genius. A thoroughly disgusting person, but a genius.
i like bathrooms, too. i can listen to music there without anyone disturbing me. just me, my ipod, and the cold bathroom floor. :O
ReplyDeleteEveryone does something or another in bathrooms. Some people have nowhere else to go when they need to be alone :o
ReplyDeleteYou haven't scared this person away yet, and I'd tell you who this is but then I'd have to kill you, so you're not finding out...yet. :p
I once heard my servant whining about me through the bathroom ventilator.
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing by telling your mum. I genuinely hope to God your sister doesn't read your blog.
The sister's best friend does. :p
ReplyDeleteYou know you can still hide candy in the bathroom. What are ziplock bags for? :D
@ Furree Kat. I listen to music on the bathroom floor too. Glad to know theres someone as gross as me still out there
ReplyDelete@Anonymous, but if you tell me I will make you a sandwich! I make awesome sandwiches
@ AcetylCholine, you know what they say. Haters keep hatin. And the rest of us keep listening to their hating through bathroom ventilators
@Sarah, The OTHER sister, genius.
One thing I forgot to mention in the post, bathrooms make the BEST echos ever
What kind of a sandwich?
ReplyDeleteI thought you mentioned this used to happen when you were eight. Was the other sister in this world at that time?
ReplyDeleteYeah :s Im mixing up times, we weren't even in this house when I was 8. I dont remember how old I was >_>
ReplyDeletemy mom always used to hide in the bathroom from her malish karney wali :p :p and then the malish lady would sneak up on the batroom window and scare the crap out of her!!
ReplyDelete